A trend seems to be developing... when I return from our annual big trip, I am slapped in the face by the fact that I have gained even more weight. Oh and I live in a pigsty. I made my bed (well, I haven't actually but you know what I mean!) and I don't want to lie in it.
Add this to the mini New Year's Resolution phenomenon that I seem to experience at the beginning of the new school year... This year I will do better. This year I will be organized. This year I won't be too lazy to do anything. This year...
And yet, here we are. I have gained all the weight I lost after last year's vacation gain plus one pound. I still live in a pigsty. And I'm still lazy and hardly organized.
I am overwhelmed. I know not where to start. What I really want to do is curl up in a little ball in the corner and bury my head in the sand.
I suspect that getting back to my exercise routine and losing a few pounds will improve my outlook and my energy levels. I have gained enough that I can no longer get by with my clothes. I have to actually dig out the fat clothes. Which I hate. Seeing any difference at all will take a few weeks or months to notice though and in the meantime I can't stand this messy house but I have no energy or desire to get my fat butt up to deal with the mess.
I also have a history of unfinished projects. I am easily distracted. I am often interrupted. Most likely something else will come up that is more of an emergency and whatever I was working on will fall to the wayside and just become more of the mess.
An endless vicious cycle. Mess. Depression. More Mess. More Depression.
Which came first? The energy to improve the outlook or the improved outlook that generates energy?