Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The morning after...

The sun is shining, the birds are singing... as always, things are looking better in the bright light of the morning. Ron came home and we spent the evening together on a "date" upstairs. We talked and laughed and he even admitted that, as hard as it is to believe, he thinks I am less crazy than any of his ex-girlfriends. Scary thought, huh.

So thanks to my dear, dear man, who threw me a rope and pulled me up out of the garbage pit, I am feeling better today. Life will go on.

Monday, February 26, 2007

The Sky is Falling

Look out everyone - the sky is falling. The river of tears rises up to meet it. I feel like Princess Leia on Star Wars when she jumped into the garbage compactor. The walls are closing in and the garbage I'm swimming in just keeps getting deeper. Oh, and don't forget that mystery creature that will occasionally pull you under.

Depressing, isn't it?

I'm sad today. (As if it weren't obvious in my analogy above!). I had a fight with my mom yesterday afternoon. The Divorce is not going well for her (does divorce ever go well, really?) and she is sad. I was frustrated by a long-standing issue (she won't allow me to buy her a plane ticket so that the kids and I might be able to see her more often) and I yelled at her. Probably not the best time since she was already down about things. Then I made a smart-ass remark and she hung up. Not a nice feeling. I SUCK at fighting. Probably why I don't ever do it. I'd rather run and hide under a rock. Maybe I'm part turtle or ostrich. Maybe I should become full turtle. I'm sure they have it good. Anyone have a shell I can borrow?

Another friend of mine is also contemplating the big D. Hard to see. Sad. For everyone.

I just received an email from a friend about 20 minutes ago. Made me cry. Not that making me cry is ever hard but it has been especially easy to fall off the deep end in the last 24 hours with little provocation. She is leaving our Cursillo group. Our group has been faltering lately anyway so I guess it was just a matter of time. Makes me sad though because I looked forward to our weekly meetings. I can find another group but it will take time to grow comfortable there and I'm not sure I'm interested in having to work for it right now. Our Small Faith group disbanded about a year or so ago and now I rarely see those people anymore. And I miss them.

I feel as though I have been focusing for the past year or so on living more simply. Emphasizing time spent together over pursuit of excellence (i.e. multiple classes/activities for the kids, perfection in housekeeping, though that one would never happpen regardless!). Communing with nature. Cocooning almost. The laundry doesn't get done (or the dishes or the cleaning or the... well, you get the picture) but I'm okay with that because I have spent time with friends and family. But it seems like people that were firmly planted in my cocoon somehow have burrowed out, crawled away and left me alone. Maybe that means it's time to move. Abandon the cocoon I treasured here and start over somewhere else. A lot of the people I didn't want to leave have left me instead. So why stick around? I'll still miss everyone but if I miss them anyway while we're still here, why stay?

Why stay? Why? Corey was bombarding me with the "Why?"s this morning. I had no answers for him and I have no answers for myself.




Why do people do the things they do? Why is anything the way it is? Why, why, why? Why me? Why them? What now? Who next?

Yes, I know it's a pity party. Things will get better eventually - they always do. But for now I am going to be sad and cry and just wonder what next and what am I supposed to be doing anyway.

Someone please pass me a steel pole to shore up the walls before they squeeze the life out of me and make me into mystery monster food.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Another quote

Teach your students to use what talents they have; the woods would be silent if no bird sang except those who sing best.

(I usually only post one quote on any given day but this was too good to not post. And we all know, if I wait, I will forget!)


No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.
-- Charles Dickens

Friday, February 23, 2007

Too Big For School

Felisa slept with her bright pink Michigan bear last night (a gift from Julie) and we were admiring it together this morning. The American flag on its foot prompted me to recite the Pledge of Allegience. Felisa had the furrowed brows look and was very disturbed by this. Apparently I am not supposed to know the pledge because I'm too big for school. She's learning the pledge at school. The rationale of "I used to be small enough for school and I remember some of the things I learned when I was small" wasn't convincing her.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The Diagnoses (or Trip to the Doctor, Take 2)

Drum roll please…..

The results are in. Tied for first place in the “I’m going to make Mommy crazy by never getting better” category are Felisa and Bella!

Felisa: Puts in a nice sneak attack with double ear-infections and possibly strep. I thought she only had the flu. Guess it’s the flu plus.
Bella: Once again maintaining her ability to surprise with walking pneumonia and strep. Neither of these is in the “weird diseases” realm that she prefers to work in but both are new for my kids.

(The good news... no one was at the doctor's office today since they were all there yesterday so we were able to sneak in to get our tests done, see the doctor, and pick up our prescriptions in record time. Maybe next time I should just start with the "Go to Dr. in middle of snow storm" plan right from the start!)

May the drugs start working quickly before I succumb to the germs as well. My reservations at the looney bin are already firmly in place and my grey hairs continue to multiply.

That’s it for us – stay safe and warm from the ice storm (I think it's really happening this time. Shocker!)

Monday, February 12, 2007


Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.

-Maori Proverb

A (w)Retched Trip to the Doctor

Last Friday I sent all the kids to school then did a little happy dance because they were all healthy! Yippee! Yahoo! No more fevers!

My happiness was short-lived. Felisa woke up Saturday morning with a fever. I shake my fist in the air and yell, a la Scarlett O'Hara. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!?? Sunday morning dawned with Bella's fever returning to join Felisa's. We are going on two months of sick kids. I'm about to lose it!

There is a supposed snow and ice storm brewing for tonight through Wednesday so I figured maybe now would be a good time to head to the doctor. I'd like to rule out any ear infections or anything medicine can fix. We've tried the just-rest-and-give-it-time method but it's not working as well as I would like. At 7:20 when I called for an appointment, the lady told me there was only one appointment available today (because it's Monday and because everyone else is also probably trying to avoid the storm as well) and it's at 8:00. Hmm. Two of the kids are still sleeping but I think we can make it. We have to at least try, right? I loaded up the girls (and Ryan - he's not sick at the moment but it's too early for school so we might as well bring him along for the ride.) and headed to the doctor's office. Doc said that she thinks Bella just has another virus on top of the one from last week. She did order a complete workup (xray, blood, urinalysis) to be sure nothing else was going on since the fever has been around for 10 days or so now. Possibilities include walking pneumonia and strep. We were in the lab waiting room for all of 10 minutes before Felisa started coughing so much she threw up all over me (and herself). Since I was covered in ick and there were about 20 people in the lab also waiting (and ahead of us in line) I decided to give up and opt for the hibernation plan instead and hope that the girls improve. If they don’t then maybe we’ll try again in a couple days (after the big snow storm that most likely won’t happen). If things go bad, we have a four-wheel drive vehicle and can head for the ER.

After the waiting room disaster, I changed Felisa (clean clothes for kids in the car, unfortunately none for me!) then went to Whole Foods (the new one) to pick up some more gummy Echinacea/zinc/vit.c bears to boost our beaten and bruised immune systems. And a few treats for me to soothe the ravaged mommy. Oh and a few veggies, milk, and TP just for good measure and to be ready for the big storm (you know, the one that will turn out to be all hype and no substance like they usually are around here)! That is a very nice, fancy whole foods by the way – in case you all needed to know that. Seem to have more items than ours. And more service areas for already-done foods. I even saw an aisle labeled as Gluten-Free (though we didn’t explore since I was trying to sort-of hurry. Of course being in a hurry didn’t stop me from browsing the wine section and debate whether or not to spend $20 on a bottle of ice wine. I decided not to, a choice I may be regretting by tomorrow!).

Then we dropped Ryan off at school for 3 hours (Monday short day). I wouldn’t have bothered taking him but we might be off or delayed later this week (yeah right) so I went ahead and sent him to school just in case. If we’re really lucky, maybe he’ll bring home some new germs we don’t have yet. I’m starting a collection…

Sunday, February 11, 2007

The Writing of the Valentines

An annual event, sort of like The Running of the Bulls.

3 kids... 3 different Valentine personalities.

Ryan - The oldest and the easiest. He enjoys schoolwork type activities and is a proficient writer. His list is the longest with 27 names.

Bella - The middle child and acts the same. Her writing has improved but is still very slow. She finishes last with 19 names. After her initial complaints about how hard it is, she settles in and works very diligently. No shortcuts this year. She has to write her name AND the recipient's name AND address the envelope.

Felisa - The fastest and the funniest. Her speed is the result of the shortest list (14 names) and lots of help from me. I wrote the cards and envelopes. She drew a picture for each one. Here's the conversation we had for each and every Valentine we did.

Me: Let's do one for (fill-in-the-blank).
Felisa: I have a (fill-in-the-blank) in my class.
Me: I know. This is for the (fill-in-the-blank) in your
Felisa: Oh.
Me: Okay, now draw a picture for (fill-in-the-blank).
Felisa: Okay. I'm going to draw (fill-in-the-blank) and me.

For every. single. one. You would think that she would eventually catch on that these were for her classmates! The good news is that her stick figures are recognizable as such and not just random scribbles. So I did the hard part and she contributed/participated. Next year she'll have to sign her own name!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

So what do You do at 4 a.m.?

I blog... and eat Reese's Peanut Butter Candy Hearts. Why? Doesn't everybody?

Bella's coughing woke me up. Getting her some medicine and refilling her water cup made sure I was too awake to fall back asleep. Or maybe it is the anticipation of going to Target later today. I'd go now but it's too cold outside and I'm pretty sure they're not open yet.

Instead, I'll try to get an update posted.

Sick of Germs...
*I've been feeling better since my trip to ID. The dry air must have killed off all the microbes in my system. Maybe I should send the kids for a healing trip. Back in the old days of covered wagons and consumption, people headed west for healing. I'm thinking they're onto something.
*All the kids were sick the few days before Christmas. And stayed sick for weeks. Various issues. First it was The Cough. Average life span of The Cough, 3 weeks. Next it was a cold for Felisa. And an eye infection. When I took her to the doctor for her eyes, she discovered an ear infection. And the cold - well, that turned out to be Fifth's Disease though I didn't realize it at the time. The Fifth's Disease spread to Bella while I was in ID and then to Ryan. Which brings us to the end of January. Now we are a week into February and STILL SICK. When Felisa came home from school last Wednesday she had a fever. She was back to school on Friday and after a brief relapse on Friday evening, she was all better by Saturday morning. Bella had the fever when she got home from school on Friday. And she STILL HAS IT! Ryan hasn't had anything major since The Cough and the Fifth's Disease but I wouldn't call him 100% healthy either.
*Maybe I'll try to get Bella in to the doctor today. That way they can tell me if she has anything that can be fixed with medicine. Our current healing plan is time. Doesn't seem to be working all that well. Besides, the day I finally give up and take the kids to the doctor is usually the day they are finally getting better. I find myself in the examining room saying, "No really. She was sick. I was up all night!" And the doctor says, "Looks okay to me." Hmm... Maybe I should have gone sooner since that is the magical healing action. Though the magical healing may be more related to the expiration of my patience and taking them sooner would not have the same magical healing results. Opinions anyone?
*Now you all are as sick of germs as I am! Is anyone still reading this?

Julie's Visit...
One of my college roommates, Julie Z., came to visit us this weekend. The kids were on their good behavior and charmed her. We went to the Chocolate Festival Saturday morning. We went to see Because I Said So. We went out to eat. A lot. And on Sunday we watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Ryan. And don't forget all the very important "hanging out and talking". A great weekend. She even said she'll come back again some time. Maybe even sooner than the 3+ years it has been since her last visit.

Exercising (or rather, NOT exercising)...
Our December exercise class session ended a week before Christmas. I ran twice the week before Christmas but was having trouble with wheezing. Then, the day after Christmas, The Cough got a hold on me. So I didn't run that week. Or the first week of January. Our January session started on Jan. 8. I still had The Cough but I was feeling better so decided to give it a try. Other than very sore muscles from John's favorite exercises - squats and lunges (and from not working out for almost 3 weeks!) - and some coughing fits brought on by running suicides, it went well. I made it class all that first week. Then I got sick with something else. The flu maybe? Body aches and a bit of fever. So I didn't go to class the second week. And then there was a holiday. And then I was out of town. And then there was only a week left of the session followed by a week break. Not really worth the money for one week on and the associated sore muscles (since I haven't been exercising!), followed by a week off (so I'd be starting over again anyway in February). So I made an executive decision to not go back until the next full session starts. You may be wondering why I didn't just go running or something on my own. Can you say Artic Cold Snap? Single digit (and negative) wind chills? I'm an East Coast wimp now so no way am I going out to run in that, especially if I haven't been working out at all lately! And as it turns out, class was cancelled a couple times for snow/cold days anyway.

Here is where it gets interesting... I have been missing my exercise. Me, the major home-body couch potato. Wishing Feb. 12 would hurry up and get here so I can get back into my workout routine. How crazy is that?!? Good news - if there are no school closings or delays tomorrow, I can go to a make-up session from January's class. Get nice and sore then have the weekend to recover a little before going back again next week. Cool, huh!

What else? It seems like there should be more to tell. I mean, I haven't blogged in forever. Of course, if I think back over the last two weeks and try to remember interesting things, all I can see is sick kids. Cold weather. Ugh. We are so going to Target today before I totally lose it.

It's 5:30 now... do you think Target is open yet?

Thursday, February 01, 2007

An Ode to Pizza

Pizza, pizza...
Oh how I love thee,

While eating pizza is not good for Dieting Naked, it is good for filling an empty tummy. Especially on days when it was supposed to snow (but doesn't), is very cold, the water has been shut off for the morning, or when I have been surrounded by sick kids for too many consecutive days. See, today is perfect for pizza! Through the beauty of online ordering, I can have dinner here in about 30 minutes (okay, more like 45 minutes) without ever having to leave my seat to find the phone, find the phone number, or speak to a person. Ain't life just peachy? Now if only there was fresh caesar salad in the refrigerator, life would be just about perfect. (Well, as perfect as possible for a day meeting the four requirements above!)