Sunday, March 22, 2009

Talking To the Dog...

The following conversation takes place between 9:24 a.m. and 9:26 a.m. on Sunday, March 22, 2009... (insert ominous tick, tock, tick, tock sound from "24" here...)

Darby: (looks at me)

Me: I still think I should retaliate somehow. He took all my purses out of his closet. He probably stole my stash money too. Maybe I'll just take all his sweaters out of my closet. That'll show him. I'll need something more though... maybe threaten to put poison in his food. Just like those old ladies of Arsenic and Old Lace. Hmm... I wonder what I'll look like as an old lady. (as I look in the mirror thoughtfully after putting in my contacts)

Darby: (looks at me)

Me: Maybe I should go for a run this morning. That would make up for all the cookies I ate yesterday that I shouldn't have. Or I could just walk you. Run then walk? I have class tomorrow anyway. I'll skip it and just walk you. What should I do Darby?

Darby: (looks at me)

Me: You don't care what I do as long as I take you for a walk, huh.

Darby: (lies down) SIGH.

Me: Oh is living here so hard? Seems to me you've got a pretty cushy life. You lick the carpet all day long and I didn't even kick you out after you peed on carpet a million times. I'd say you've got it good dog.

Darby: (looks at me)

Me: What?

Darby: (looks at me)

Me: I wonder how long it will take Ron to get home from dropping off the kids. Maybe I should take a shower now. I can run tomorrow in class. Besides, if I run today then I'll never get anything done. I have to make dinner now so it can cook later while we're at baseball. I have to continue the never-ending task of working on my taxes. Mom wants me to go look at a place with her this afternoon and that always takes forever. And the kids need new soccer shoes. But first Bella has to try hers on to see if they still fit.

Darby: (looks at me)

Me: SIGH.

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