Tuesday, August 17, 2010

My Bucket

My goals... my values... my bucket of time...

Spending some time today working through this. It's a new year (the fall always seems like a second New Year to me, a chance to start over AGAIN and hopefully get it right this time) and time to think about how I'd like it to go.

My values...
*Home and Family, Love and Friends... these are a source of encouragement, joy, laughter, and support as well as a refuge from the wild and crazy world. I tend to be a home-body. I want to be at home, in my home, surrounded by the people (family AND friends) who love me. Home is comfortable. Home can be relaxing and quiet or it can be filled with laughter and good company. Home is where my heart is. It is where I start from and where I come back to.

*Responsibility... I have a responsibility to fulfill my obligations. I have a responsibility to care for my world and those that are in it. We have a responsibility to each other as human beings to help each other out. We're in this together.

*Flexibility, Patience, Politeness, Helpfulness, and a Sense of Humor... all key ingredients to a successful, harmonious existence on this wild ride known as life.

*Nature... being outside (in non-humid, non-mosquito infested weather!) in the quiet and peace of nature brings peace to my soul. I'm trying my best to tread lightly and to help others to do the same.

My goals...
(compiled via a quick-n-dirty 60-second write-down-the-first-thing-that-comes-to-mind session)

*Lose 10-15 pounds (always a goal of mine, especially at the end of each summer when I have gained lots of road trip vacation weight and haven't been exercising regularly!). Related goals: Training for the Turkey Trot 5k in November. I can't remember the last time I actually went out jogging...

*Create and maintain a clean, workable scrapbook workspace so that I can use it whenever I feel so inspired, rather than dreading it or avoiding it altogether. This one feels particularly daunting and impossible. Very Mount Everest-ish.

*Spend more time on various personal scrapbook projects. There are so many things on my list that I'd love to scrap but never seem to have the time. When I do have the time (or the inspiration), I am thwarted by the Scrapbooking Pit of Despair (see prior goal).

*Create and maintain a more orderly home environment. (Talk about shooting for the moon! This is also a very Mount Everest-ish task in my mind. I'm not the best housekeeper and the clutter has been building up for 10 years now.)

*Spend quality time with myself and with my family without constantly thinking about what else I need to be or should be doing, those undone tasks on my to-do list looming over me. Essentially I think I am looking for BALANCE. I don't wish to give up my activities outside the home (at least not all of them) because they satisfy my need to contribute, to help out, to be involved, and to be with people. But I also need to be at home and be mentally engaged with my family. I think finding a balance that works for me and works for my family will be a tough one.

I need to be more aware of each moment and how I am spending my time. Try to keep in mind where I'm at and where I'm trying to go and whether or not my choices will get me there. Specifically I need to better manage my time alone, my time not spent on household chores and other calendar commitments. I often have difficulty in just getting started as well as difficulty in maintaining forward progress continuously over time. I am an object at rest, that if given a choice, would prefer to stay at rest. Somehow I need to apply force regularly to overcome that inherent inertia. Deadlines help me ultimately finish a job but more specifically, deadlines set by others (rather than by me). Accountability to others. A sense of "we're in this together" and positive encouragement also help.

I want to be able to do it all. But I can't. It's impossible. All I can hope for is the ability to do it better. And so I am hoping by being more conscious of my time and how I am spending it, I will better balance what I have going at the moment without having to give too much up.

Is it hopeless?

[Why I enjoy scrapbooking...
(thought I should expand on this since it is mentioned twice in my goals above)

I enjoy the beauty and asthetics of it - putting together all the pretty papers and colors and accents. I also really enjoy the relationship aspect of it. When I'm working in my scrapbooks, I am also spending time with family and friends and loved ones, via the memories in my mind. It is a form of time together, or at least so it seems to me. An extension of the pleasure I get from spending time hanging out with people and being together with people. Capturing the stories and the memories then being able to share them again each time the books are reviewed. Why I enjoy doing books for others? I want them to have the same opportunity to open a book and share the memories.]

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